- Have several close friends whom you see regularly, get along with them, and develop common interests with them.
- Participate regularly in group social activities.
- Fulfill an important role in your community in some way that makes you feel an important part.
- Don't hold grudges! This is one of the most important mental attitudes displayed by each of the societies where people live the longest lives. They all got along very well with one another, they would all readily forgive and forget all transgressions, and there were never any ill feelings at all. No matter what happens, they don't hold grudges.
- Much of the research completed to date shows that married people tend to live longer and be healthier than their single counterparts. This may, however, prove to have been due, at least in part, to the pressure of the times. Future research will clarify this point further. These studies do show clearly that people who had experienced divorces - especially several - lived much shorter lives than those who remained married to their first spouse. More recent trends have been toward a broader acceptance of the single status. Living single, and living with and separating from several partners over a period of time does not involve the same amount of stress that it once did. Social attitudes, financial prosperity, automation, and ease of meeting new people nave significantly lessened the stress involved in separation from a domestic situation.
Carl Bourhenne's Fitness and Long Life Manual |
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Youthful and Attractive |
Sexuality, Friends, Family
Stay Involved With Family And Friends. As human
beings we are social animals. We do not seem able to exist in isolation as
some other organisms do. We need to develop some form of society and obtain
the company and support of other human beings. We need others even to provide
the necessities of life such as food, clothing, housing, and security against
our enemies. Ever since the beginning of man we have formed societies; and
everywhere on earth where human beings are, they have banded together and
formed societies of some kind.
Several research results show that we need some kind of love or attention to be healthy, emotionally. In fact, the lack of love and human companionship contribute to serious disease, and even to death. The renowned Abraham Maslow includes the need for affection as one of our basic needs, along with food, water, security, and self esteem.
One of the many reasons for staying involved with family and friends is to help fill their needs, especially those of our parents. As they age, their friends tend to become fewer and fewer, by attrition; so they need us more and more to fill their needs for love and affection.
For ourselves as well, our family and friends provide the largest share of our love and affection. We have basic ties with our family, and special memories of sharing and growth. Our friends have, for the most part, been chosen because we perceive them to be like ourselves, because they are familiar to us; because they like us, because they are good at what they do; and because we find them attractive. We have met many people in the process of establishing friendships with these few people, and we would do ourselves well to stay in touch with these valuable friends who, with our families, provide our vital needs for love and affection.
We are all aware that an active social life is not only one of the most fun, fulfilling, pleasurable, satisfying, and informative aspects of living; but, in addition, many major research programs completed in the last few years on the subject of aging (including the Russians, who are among the most prodigious researchers on health, long life, and the aging process), listed as one of the most important conclusions that an active social life is an absolute must for a healthy, long life - especially later in life.
In fact, a major conclusion listed is that the "lone wolf" tends to live the shortest life span and be less healthy, physically and emotionally.
It is ill-advised to be a "lone wolf", and recent studies show that social involvement should include the following:
It is now clear that regular sexual activity may prevent many types of illness and disease, because it avoids or releases stress. In addition, research into the inner workings of the body shows that orgasm in both men and women results in the release into the body of many beneficial chemicals.
Two major research centers have independently documented what is now commonly termed the "Late In Life Cause Of Aging". These independent studies each showed that when sexual activity ceased in older people, they experienced a more rapid decline of their health. The post-mortem physical examinations given to both test groups led to the conclusion that the continuation of sexual activity, especially in later life, contributes greatly not only to health, but also to their physical youthfulness.
Older people have always been active, sexually, even into their 90's and 100, and beyond. They have traditionally not talked about it so as not to shock their children and grandchildren. But older people have always been quite active, sexually.
The truth is that people can be sexually active as long as they are alive and reasonably healthy. And, contrary to popular opinion, the sex drive does not even diminish all that much, and then only gradually. If someone experiences a dramatic decline in sex drive, they should seek help. And adequate help is readily available.
Also, the old adage that an exercise program can rejuvenate the sex drive is true. If you don't believe it, I recommend that you try it. It's only fair to warn your mate though. Otherwise they might wonder what suddenly got into you.
Any modern discussion on sexuality must address the subject of AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). Not only must the sexually active person today take steps to protect himself and herself from the threat of STD's (Sexually Transmitted Diseases, formerly known as VD - Venereal Disease), but today they must protect themselves against AIDS, a life threatening disease transmitted by sexual intercourse, including anal intercourse, and by the exchange of body fluids including the swallowing of vaginal fluids or semen. AIDS is an increasing presence in our society, and presently, most everyone who contracts it dies. Before the development of penicillin, syphilis was a life-threatening disease. Perhaps one day we will cure or vaccinate against AIDS. New research now, though, shows that the AIDS virus can be in the system for up to six months, undetected by the AIDS tests. While condoms are only a little over 90% reliable, they are better than nothing and could save your life. So the newly popular rhyme: "A Tisket A Tasket, A Condom Or A Casket" is one worth remembering at that special time when one would least like to think of it.
Another important notion from the social aspect of living for health, youthfulness, and attractiveness, is to maintain "Emotional Stability". Emotional stability mean, in this context, maintaining a positive attitude always, while avoiding over-reacting to adverse conditions and adverse social experiences. It is very stressful to allow an extreme negative reaction to outside, or even to inner adverse situations. Actually, if we always look at the other person's viewpoint, we may well understand why they did what they did, and not over-react.
A man once said, "If I wanted to make my worst enemy miserable, I'd make him hate someone". And that's how it works. Love and Liking are contributors to our health, youthfulness, and long life; but dislike of others is destructive. And, if there is someone we don't enjoy being around, we can simply stay away from them. Remember, the opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference.
In summary, don't be a "lone wolf". Develop several close friends (even though no one is perfect, neither are you; and we all need social interactions). Be a valuable part of your community, participate in group social activities, enjoy a sex life that is normal for you, maintain emotional stability, and never, never hold a grudge - it can kill you.
Follow these precepts and you can be healthier longer, and stay more youthful and more attractive.
Carl Bourhenne, MA
